Transitional Phases: The Stages of Change Model. No turning back

At some point you’ve most likely heard the phrase “transitional phase” —maybe on social media, from a life coach, or from a friend. But what does it really mean? In simple terms, a transitional phase is a period when you’re moving from one stage of life to another. These times can be exhausting, often prompting us to pause and really assess where we are in life. Transitional phases look different for everyone and can last for weeks, months, or even years. They typically need not only changes in our habits, but to also change the way we see the world and our place in it.  

So why am I talking about transitional phases? Because I’m in one right now, and I’m finding it extremely challenging. That’s one of the main reasons I started this blog. After years of calling myself a writer, I finally found something meaningful to write about: my own transitional journey. Psychologist reference this period as: the Stages of Change Model, developed by psychologists James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente. This model describes how people navigate behavioral changes in six stages: precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance, and termination. 

Precontemplation 

We all begin in precontemplation—a stage marked by denial. For me, this lasted from age 21 to 24 (roughly 2017–2020, pre- and post-COVID). I was married, working two jobs, and in school, while my then-husband pursued a podcast that brought in little income. For three years, I kept quiet about my frustrations, I was scared to speak afraid that I would lose him and in turn loss my marriage. Looking back, I now see how my fears had turned into a form of avoidance. Speaking up meant that I was setting a boundary and boundaries required a follow through. My trauma had made it hard for me not only to make but to keep my boundaries. This began to shift when I turned 25. 

Contemplation 

At 25 (2021), I reached the contemplation stage—finally acknowledging my feelings of stagnation. I had returned to therapy a year earlier and began noticing patterns in my marriage: not only was I the only one working, but I had also noticed that I was the only one working on myself as well. I was the only one actively pursuing a better life. Around this time our arguments became more intense, and I started expressing myself more openly, even if it meant conflict. Our separation was from Octobor-2021 until September 2023. During this time, I focused on therapy, self-discovery, and for the first time, not taking care of someone else. When we tried to reconcile in late 2023, I was a more secure version of myself. This reconciliation I had come back with not only new boundaries but new requirements as well as a new mindset. I needed to be honest with myself and see if he was truly capable of meeting my needs or at least working towards meeting them.  Though there had been some change, it wasn’t enough. I left in June 2024, moved out, and filed for divorce—marking the true beginning of my transitional phase. 

Preparation 

Preparation, or commitment, is where I am now: planning my next steps. My goals for 2025 included finalizing my divorce, focusing on a single career (I currently juggle two), becoming financially stable (following the Dave Ramsey Baby Steps), setting up routines, and living a life driven by curiosity. I’m working on these steps with my therapist, a financial coach (didn’t last long), and friends. Therapy can be expensive. I recommend using other resources whenever you can, such as podcasts, social media, and even seeking out mentors. Remember to choose your confidants carefully—not all friends will share your mindset or goals. 

Action 

The action stage is about implementation. I often find myself cycling between planning and action because life is unpredictable. My struggles included waking up early for yoga, managing my diet, and tackling financial setbacks. Sometimes, I felt stuck deciding whether to pursue another job or a side hustle. 

Maintenance & Termination 

Maintenance is about sustaining the changes you’ve made. I’m not fully there yet, but I’m beginning to see how small, consistent shifts can become more permanent. As for termination—the stage when old habits no longer tempt you—I’m not quite there either. I’m still learning how to make these new habits my long-term reality. 

As I navigate these stages, I’m reminded how powerful and necessary change can be—even when it’s uncomfortable. Each transition brings clarity, resilience, and deeper self-awareness. If you find yourself in a similar phase, I invite you to reflect on your own journey. What transitions are you facing? How can you use this period to grow? Embracing change isn’t easy, but together, we can learn to move through it with courage and curiosity. Let’s use these moments to discover who we are becoming—one step at a time.